Is it just me? Or does it seem like people are becoming more hostile, rude, disrespectful, and uncivil at work? Well, when you think about a toxic work environment, what comes to mind? Could it be condescending, negative, abrupt, behavior that goes unaddressed.
A lack of patience, compassion, and consideration for others. Threatening physical harm, endangering the safety of others. Or just plain old unprofessional, disrespectful language, AND workplace bullying.
And, think about it could this also be one of the reasons so many new hires “ghost†organizations, by never showing up for orientation? And also why so many employees are what we’re now calling “quiet quitters.â€
Defining Respect
Now, when we THINK of RESPECT in the workplace (which is OPTIMUM) it’s typically considered a positive feeling or action shown toward someone. It’s something considered important, or of high esteem. And, in essence, when we show RESPECT to others, it conveys that we admire AND truly value their presence.
Now, for clarification when a person typically expresses that they felt disrespected, often it’s because they actually felt ignored, unappreciated, spoken to in a harsh or abrupt manner, or that they were treated in a dismissive or condescending manner.
Studies show that employees who feel RESPECTED are 63% more satisfied with their jobs. So, the benefits of fostering a culture of respect in the workplace are far-reaching because it not only increases employee morale, but, also it increases productivity and employee retention.
Root Causes
So, what are some of the root causes of disrespect in the workplace? Well, it’s often due to FRUSTRATION maybe because of NOT receiving something the person expected. It could be due to CYNICISM, which is having a negative, bitter attitude.
It could be due to Stress because of feeling overwhelmed or overworked. It could be that some people feel a sense of entitlement because they perceive their position as being of more value. Or, it could be a lack of empathy due to cultural differences. AND, regardless of the root cause, no one should be subjected to DISRESPECTFUL behavior.
That’s why many organizations establish core values and reinforce their Standards of Excellence, to ensure everyone is CLEAR concerning expected actions and behaviors that we should all consistently exemplify with BOTH our internal and external customers.
You see, interestingly, when co-workers feel DISRESPECTED typically they feel that one of THESE Standards of Excellence have been violated. So, it’s VERY important that we enliven them every day.
Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Behaviors
Now, when it comes to “Creating a Culture of Respect†in the workplace there are seven strategies for dealing with difficult behaviors and moving forward.
ONE – Reduce your stress levels, especially… if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, rest, exercise, and time for work/life balance.
TWO – When dealing with mean people, try Killing them with Kindness, which means causing discomfort by treating them in a way that is extremely kind and helpful instead of returning an insult.
THREE – Make emotional bank account DEPOSITS, instead of withdrawals. You do this with simple acts of kindness that build strong professional relationships like genuine compliments, going above, and beyond to help others, or giving credit and recognition when its due.
FOUR – Practice whole brain thinking. Instead of labeling yourself as a left brain or right brain thinker practice whole brain thinking where you are both logical AND considerate, so you don’t come across as brash, abrasive, and almost heartless.
FIVE – Don’t take it personally! Oftentimes it’s nothing that you did. The person may just be frustrated about another situation that recently occurred and they haven’t gotten over it. But if the disrespect persists, it’s important that you bring it to their attention in a professional manner.
SIX – Whenever possible, respond with empathy and compassion putting yourself in their shoes. Especially if their disrespect is due to frustration, because of an inconvenience that YOU somehow caused.
And finally SEVEN – Practice mindfulness. Being aware of your body language and tone of voice when interacting with others… so your demeanor is… never perceived as disrespectful, dismissive, or condescending.
Responding to Disrespect in the Workplace
Before I close, here are a few TIPS for responding to DISRESPECT with polish, professionalism, and finesse. Let’s say a co-worker feels that you have disrespected them. What should you do? Well, the right thing is to:
Listen to the person without interrupting. Allow them to finish their thoughts before explaining. Don’t make excuses saying, “I was stressed out.†“I’m overwhelmed.†or by placing blame on someone else. Seek 1st to understand, then to be understood.
Thank them for bringing it to your attention and consider extending a sincere apology. And if there was a legitimate reason that caused you to behave or respond out of frustration, address it but with empathy, compassion,. and respect.
AND, be open minded and willing to work together on a solution to ensure it doesn’t continue to occur. Make a concerted effort to PRACTICE MINDFULNESS in your interactions with others. Treating others the way you want to be treated in similar situations.
And hopefully it never happens, but if you feel that you have been disrespected by a colleague here are a few tips for handling it demonstrating appropriate assertiveness.
If you have a long-term or good working relationship with the person, speak with them (in private) when appropriate. Practice assertiveness, but in a calm, professional manner. Don’t let it go… too long without being addressed.
Be specific, not evasive briefly recapping what was said or done, how it made you feel, and why you wanted to bring it to their attention. Pause to allow them to respond, and don’t interrupt until they are completely finished.
AND, work together to come up with a solution to ensure this behavior doesn’t continue. This is what we call a WIN/WIN Agreement. Thank them for the opportunity to share your feelings. And, most of all… Be the CHANGE. you want to see in others, being MINDFUL to consistently treat others with the highest levels of dignity and respect.
Leadership Note
And if you are in a leadership role here are a couple of additional steps that I’d like you to follow. Be observant of how your team is treated and how they treat others. NEVER ignore flagrant signs of disrespect because you are too busy, short-staffed, or due to hierarchy.
If an employee feels they have been consistently disrespected by another colleague or leader, and they don’t feel comfortable bringing it to the person’s attention ensure the issue is addressed, no matter how insignificant you THINK it might be.
Again, with the goal of ensuring your standards of excellence are exemplified at all times and that everyone is treated with the highest levels of dignity and respect.
About the AUTHOR
Theo Gilbert-Jamison is CEO of Performance Solutions by Design, a consulting firm headquartered in Atlanta, Georgia that helps organizations exceed expectations by elevating the customer experience from average to extraordinary.
She is also author of several leadership books to include: The Six Principles of Service Excellence, and The Leadership Book of Numbers, Volumes 1 & 2. Prior to launching Performance Solutions by Design in 2003, she was VP of Learning & Development with Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company where she enjoyed a 17-year career.
Theo was also a key contributor, instrumental in implementing and sustaining processes and systems that led to The Ritz-Carlton becoming a two-time recipient of the Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award.