Did you know… Increasing customer retention by just 10% could potentially increase your profits anywhere from 25% to 95%.
Is it just me? Or does it seem like people are angrier and angrier? Well, how much of that could be solved by simply “killing people with kindness� Maybe not 100%. But I have a strong suspicion that if we were more caring, compassionate, and kind to one another for most people it would be almost impossible to continue to be rude, condescending, and disrespectful.
So, what does it mean to “kill people with kindness?†Some of you may have NEVER heard this phrase before. But, in simple terms it means to cause discomfort to someone by treating them in a way that is extremely kind or helpful instead of returning an insult. And I know, some of you may be thinking Theo, are you crazy? When someone is mean, rude, or disrespectful to me, I “naturally†feel obligated to treat them with the same level of disrespect.
But think about what actually happens when you kill someone with kindness. It means showing kindness whenever possible. And, by doing so, you’re NOT literally “killing the person†who was rude to you. Instead, you’re killing the “CRUELTY†that’s inside of them.
Let me give you a simple example. I frequent my neighborhood Walgreens a few times a month. And with clockwork, as soon as I enter the store the cashier ALWAYS immediately greets ALL customers with a friendly, sincere “Good morning!†And what I often observe is very disheartening. Only 1% of customers entering the store actually respond. Instead, most ignore the cashier’s friendly greeting as they swiftly stroll through the store’s entrance.
Now I’m sure you’re thinking — Theo, that’s the cashier’s job to GREET people. She’s trained to do that. And besides people are very busy. But I would say that’s a very poor excuse because a greeting is truly intended to acknowledge a person’s presence. And to show respect, value, and appreciation of customers who have chosen to do business with a company. And when you don’t respond because you are “too busy†or “preoccupied†it unconsciously demonstrates that you (the customer) don’t in turn respect or VALUE the employee. Now simmer on that for a moment!
So, the next time you’re at the gas station, grocery store, bank, dry cleaners, or wherever and an employee KINDLY greets you, please take a moment to POLITELY and respectfully respond.
Now whether you’re an employee, a customer, or a co-worker what are the benefits of “killing people with kindness� Well, I can think of three great reasons just off the top of my head. When you kill people with kindness (especially someone who has been rude to you), it helps avoid unnecessary conflict or escalation OVER what might be a simple matter.
When you kill people with kindness it empowers you! Meaning by taking the “high road†you come out on top. And when you kill people with kindness it makes it harder for them to continue being rude or disrespectful. Unless they’re a narcissist or totally self-absorbed.
So, if you think “killing people with kindness†is a great technique, especially in the workplace but you just can’t bring yourself to following through, here are FIVE things that work for ME especially when a customer, co-worker, friend, or maybe even a family member is disrespectful.
ONE – Practice empathy, putting yourself in their shoes even if it’s just for a moment. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Maybe someone was just extremely rude to them. Or, maybe something disheartening recently occurred that they can’t get past it.
TWO – Don’t take it personally. If they don’t accept your kindness, it’s not your fault. Stay positive. And don’t be defensive, trying to over-explain or make excuses it just doesn’t work.
THREE – Sincerely apologize for the inconvenience, even if it’s not your fault. And especially if they’re a customer and a mistake was made that frustrated them. Acknowledge their emotions which goes back to having empathy. RIGHT?
FOUR – Be sincere, positive, and keep your cool. Don’t allow their negativity to get the best of you. Be respectful, staying calm in your voice tone, demeanor, and body language.
And finally, FIVE – If the person continues to be rude (especially in a work situation) don’t argue. Politely disengage in conversation and ask a manager to get involved.
And getting back to the story I was sharing about my Walgreens experience. I mentioned to the cashier that I thought it was terrible that so many customers walk in, hear when you acknowledge them with “Good morning, afternoon, or evening†and totally ignore it instead of respectfully responding. And she graciously replied “It doesn’t bother me; I still greet everyone that comes in.†Now… that my friend… is excellence.
So, there you have it. What is means to “kill them with kindness.†The benefits of doing so. And a few simple tips that we could all use to improve. And if you’re like me and typically take the “high road†with rude people by killing them with kindness, please share your thoughts. I’m sure it will be helpful to some else.
To learn more about our Customer Experience Training and Consulting Programs, contact us at [email protected]. It would be our pleasure to assist!